Friday night I received a phone call from my temp agency, Pro Staff, while I was standing in front of Bubba Gump Shrimp at Mall of America (of all places).
Pro Staff: Is Jenna available?Jenna: May I ask who's calling?Pro Staff: This is ____ from Pro Staff.Jenna: Oh, hi! What's going on?Jenna: ....OK.Pro Staff: Yeah...____wanted me to tell you that it was an extremely difficult decision to let you go. It has nothing to do with your performance, just with such low volume they couldn't keep you on any longer.Jenna: ....OK.Pro Staff: But Pro Staff will definitely be keeping you in mind for future assignments.Jenna: ....OK. Sounds great.
For months now, the company I worked for has had very low volume. More often than not employees were sent home early in the day due to....well...not having anything to do. Cuts were made all over the place. There was a company meeting recently where one of the higher-ups spoke about the layoffs that were going on in all of the departments. At that time, 1/3 of all of the employees there had been laid off due to low volume.
Needless to say, this phone call was a little expected.
There were some strange things that happened leading up this, as there tend to be in my life.
Two weeks ago I started taking all of my personal items home. It was like subconsciously I knew it was coming. All of my photos were taken down and put in my purse. What was left on my desk on Friday afternoon was one picture frame, a various assortment of knick-knacks I got from other people at that company, and a box of tea...Also I think there was a container of ancient dried fruit in a drawer too.
I never took the job seriously enough, personally, to where I would dedicate myself to it fully. New policies or procedures would be sent out and I would pay little attention to them until I was in the specific situation they applied to, thinking to myself "What does it matter? I'm not going to be here much longer."
And then the phone rang.
At first it was a shock. Obviously. I didn't really react. And the 48 hours that have passed since then, I've pretty much just gone about my life like nothing happened. Tomorrow may be a different story. I'll probably wake up in a panic at like, 9:30 thinking I'm going to be late for work and then realize I don't have to go.
But am I really all that sad? I don't think so. If I were upset about it I feel like I would have reacted in that way somehow by now.
However. It's never fun to be told you're no longer needed or wanted somewhere. So that aspect kind of sucks. I feel like that's going to pass.
The thing is, I never hated what I was doing at that job. I really didn't and for the most part, I was pretty good at what I did (all three times they changed my title in the last seven months). I enjoyed talking to the dramatically different people I got to call all over the country every day. I just didn't belong there. I don't have any animosity towards anyone there and I don't regret my time or experience. I learned a lot about an industry I never thought I'd work in, I met a lot of amazing people, I talked to a lot of really awesome dudes all over the US, and for the most part, it was easy to cling to the good and fun things that would randomly happen during a shift.
I'll miss the people the most. Sure we're friends on Facebook and we have each others numbers so we'll be able to keep in touch. The reactions I've gotten from those friends upon telling them I wouldn't be seeing them on Monday is touching. I adore all of you and we will be hanging out soon.
One of my friends provided the whole "when one door closes another door opens" line. And that's true. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. There has to be something just on the horizon that is for me, or at least for me for now.
So what now? I'm going to enjoy what's left of this gorgeous weekend. And after I collect my belongings from the temp agency and get packed up, I'm going to go to home for a few days. Since I started this job I haven't been able to be home-home for more than a day or so. I'm going to see some people and do some things I have had time to do in a long time and just relax. Next week, I'll come back and start anew. Job searching, applying, all that. I've also decided that I'm going to be a little pickier about where I work this time around. Not to the point where I will outright refuse a job, I'm not, you know...stupid. But I cannot work in a place that makes me feel bad about myself for being there. I can't do that again. I won't do that again.
I'm taking this turn of events as an opportunity to explore other options, take some risks and just take on the world. I have this incredible sense of anticipation today. As cheesy as it is, I really feel like I can do anything.
And now, just because I feeling all empowered and to boost that already existing sense of motivation, I'm going to watch Rocky IV while I clean and organize my apartment.
It's a good day. You should have a good day too.
- Jennanigans
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